We had a baby appointment this morning, and it always makes me feel so relieved when we get to hear the heartbeat. My eyes well up every time. In between appts. I stress myself out thinking of all the sad stories there are and all the possible things that can go wrong. It amazes me that so many babies make it to their families at all.
Anyway, things are looking awesome, and everything is going along like it should. We both get really excited and look at each other and think--This is really happening. Then I think to myself--Yikes! This is really happening!
Along with all the happiness and excitement I have felt with being able to have another baby, there are also things that scare me to death. Some of them may sound silly and petty, but I still worry about them.
1.Are we really ready? We have been wanting this for 7 years, but we are so out of practice I worry that I will resent the change to our lives.
2.Will Trey be OK? He is very excited now, I hope he stays that way when the reality of how much attention a baby needs truly sets in.
3.That I will want another one, and the agony of the past 7 years will start all over again.
4.That I will want another one, and the doctor will tell me that I can't.
5.Getting our baby boy here at all. I still have this little voice in the back of my head telling me not to get too excited until I can actually see him.
6.The time and effort it will take to get back in shape. I know I can do it, but I also know I will be impatient about it. Two of you (Jane and Emily; and Kendra, if you read this) have had babies in the last two years, and look awesome, please share your secrets!
7.My boobs. When will these puppies ever stop growing?! I went to a lot of effort and expense to make sure that I was eternally perky, and I am not looking forward to the "orange in a tube sock" look. Picture it--it is not pleasant!
8.Juggling baby and preschool. This one will be the least of my worries. Hopefully my sister will be here to help, and I have great friends that I could call too.
9.Having ugly toes when I go to the hospital. Bill won't paint them, and I won't abuse our friendship and ask any of you to do it. Just let me know where I can get a pedicure and you are all invited.
10.The C-section. Some people love it, some people hate it. I guess I won't know till it's over.
11.That some of you may be offended by fear #7 and think I am very vain. Just think of it as the comic relief.
These are some of the things that go through my mind and keep me up at night. But then, I feel my little man kick and nothing else matters. And I know that the first time he cries and I can see him, I won't care about anything else and all these things will be silly. No matter how hard it might be, I have got a husband who loves me and makes me laugh, and Trey does the same, so how can our new edition be any different?
Goals, Resolutions and Choices.
5 years ago
5 comments:
An pan- you don't need to worry about any of those things. you will be perfect. it is like riding a bike, you know how, you just have to wobble through a few yards til it comes back to you. don't worry about sounding vain... i would worry too :)! he he! and also, i have a sweet hookup for your toes. you just name the day!
love ya! jill
You are too funny! By the way, Allie was born 4 years ago but thanks, that was nice. I will totally paint your toes for you, unless you have seen mine and don't want me to. Also, I saw my "other booby friend" that had a child after the birth of hers and the twins look awesome. I didn't see them unclothed, but at least they look good in the bra and shirt. You are cute, funny, and if you got into the shape you did after Trey you will TOTALLY be able to do it again. I am so excited for you!!!
Funny girl! I think those fears come weather it's been 7 years or 2. It's all good. I have a totally sweet girl for toes. Pedicure and she even paints these awesome designs, so cute. Trust me. I might even go with you!!
Aren't you a March bday girl, too. We should go for our birthdays!!!!!!
Hey Andy! Thanks for letting me read your blog. I can't imgagine the roller coaster you are on, but every mom goes through her own worries and doubts-you are so not alone! I am here for you whenever you need me. Austin is older now so I will need to get my newborn fix alot. You can drop him off here anytime. I would love it! Hang in there. Oh, and as for the comments on the boobs-loved them!! I laughed so hard. At least you have them to stress about! (Someday....)
I freaking love you!
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